


Emrys

by ALPHAwolf



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Character Death, Depressed Merlin, Eventual mpreg, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Smut, Top Arthur, between season 2-3, clueless merlin, domestic?, happy end, idiots who are bad at expressing their feelings, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22677139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: After the great dragon’s attack and Morgana’s disappearance Merlin is forced to come to terms with his mistakes, and despite his desperate attempts not too he makes a few more.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 324





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Since the series is called Merlin and this fic creates an alternative storyline after season 2 its called by Merlin's other name- Emrys :D

Merlin tossed restlessly despite his exhaustion, muscles sore and hands raw from hours of toil. Camelot was in the thick of repairs after the great dragon’s attack, his recent days spent without a moment’s rest. If he wasn’t collecting ingredients for Gaius he was delivered healing balms to burn victims or helped bury the dead in mass graves.

So many people had been burnt to a crisp, their bodies left twisted into their last moments of agony. Each one made him sick to his stomach, the guilt of his actions haunting his every thought. It was worst when he shut his eyes, the horrors of the last week plaguing his dreams.

Gaius had quickly noticed his mood and made an effort to continually assured him all the decision’s he had made were justified, but the old man didn’t know the extent of his mistakes and he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive them. Instead, he was cursed to lay sleepless, second guessing every choice he’d ever made.

Why had he sworn on his mother’s life to Kilgharrah? He should have just left him there to rot. His advice never helped anyway, it only forced him to make decisions against his character. Perhaps he could have reasoned with Morgana? Then her betrayed expression as she choked wouldn’t continue to make his chest ache. Maybe if he had taken Mordred in he could have ensured he wouldn’t bring about Arthur’s demise? After all he was only a child, he didn’t yet have the capabilities for such evil. He probably shouldn’t have come to Camelot in the first place, instead he could have joined the druids, perhaps he might have even found his father and gotten to spend more than a few hours with him. On top of that, if he’d never come to Camelot he wouldn’t have cost so many lives, and he wouldn’t care about Arthur or Uther dying. He’d probably even rejoice at news of the tyrant King‘s death, rather than wasting his time saving a man who was the embodiment of hate and paranoia for his prat son’s sake.

With a groan the brunette shoved his face into his sad excuse for a pillow, willing his mind to _shut up_. Maybe Gaius had some of the potion he used for Morgana left lying around? The very prospect of getting up made him cringe, sighing as he mused that wherever Arthur was he was probably no doubt having trouble sleeping too. The Prince always hated sleeping on quests, out in the open away from his plush bed.

Arthur had left days ago with a party of knights in search of Morgana while his manservant had been forced to stay. Gaius couldn’t afford to spare him, having so many patients. He considered Merlin among those traumatised by the incident, and had prescribed him a concoction of St Johns Wort to combat his low spirits. _As if any of Gaius’s remedies could combat the weight of his sins,_ his mind offered bitterly.

Frustrated beyond comprehension he wracked his tired brain for a sleeping spell that would knock him unconscious, mumbling anything he could think might work till he finally managed to black out.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur finally returned with his party days later, eyes downcast and mouth set in a thin line.

Morgana was not among them.

Merlin met him at the castles entrance, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed the other had failed. He was after all certain the King’s ward was perfectly safe. The blond witch would never hurt her, they had too… intimate a connection. He wasn’t quite sure what it was but he could sense it, something like blood but stronger joining the two. _Perhaps witches were just like that sometimes,_ he wondered.

Neither he nor Arthur managed a smile in greeting, Merlin silently returning his horse to the stables while the Prince reported to the King.

When the blond finally returned to his chamber’s an hour later Merlin had already drawn him a warm bath to wash away the grime of his journey. He looked even more defeated than when he had arrived, his father having no doubt shamed him mercilessly for his failure. Merlin gave him a sympathetic look and helped him out of his armour, setting it aside to be polished whilst the other undressed and stepped into the steaming tub.

Arthur’s relieved sigh accompanied the slosh of water, Merlin listening with his back turned as he went about collecting up the prince’s discarded clothes.

The blond gave a pained grunt, drawing his servants gaze. The Prince was rubbing his neck and shoulder, expression drawn tight.

“Sore?”

“The horses got a scare a few days ago, bucked me off.” Arthur explained in a mumble as his manservant put the laundry aside and came to kneel behind him.

The royal let out a sound of appreciation as he took over, the tense muscles under his hands far firmer than they should have felt.

“What spooked them?” He asked quietly.

“Snake.” The blond murmured, his eyes shut. It was the most they’d spoken in weeks, Merlin realised rather sourly, his hands pausing a moment. Arthur noticed the lack of movement and peaked back at the other’s lost expression, the brunette’s gaze unfocused. He gently placed one of his wet hands over Merlin’s, snapping him out of his deep thoughts.

“I know you’re worried for her. I am too.” Merlin’s stomach twisted and he forced himself to nod, returning to his task with more vigour than before. The other let his hand fall away and grunted as he pushed perhaps a little harder than he needed down on his trapezius.

“Father is sending me off on another search in four days.” Arthur commented after an additional moment of silence passed between them. _So soon_ , Merlin wanted to ask, or rather complain.

“I should come with you, can’t have you falling off your horse again.” He tried to tease the other like normal, but his voice carried none of its usual cheek.

“I didn’t fall.” The other insisted stubbornly, though he too lacked his usual bite “... I’ll ask Gaius if he can spare you.”

A nod was the brunette’s only reply, continuing to massage the other till his hands could no longer handle the strain.

He fetched the prince’s sleeping clothes, since he already looked ready to fall asleep, and went about cleaning up. Unsurprisingly Arthur practically collapsed onto the sheets once he had dressed, Merlin quieting his movements and shutting the curtains against the light. He only paused when Arthur reached for his hand as he passed by the bed.

The blonde’s eyes were half shut, hair still damp and soaking the pillow. He held the most earnest look Merlin had ever seen, gently caressing his servant’s hand with his thumb.

“I’ll find her, I promise.” Merlin swallowed and pulled his hand away slowly, looking down at the floor before hurrying away.

The promise hung like a noose resting around his throat, Merlin left waiting for the floor to fall out from beneath him.

∞

Arthur kept himself busy the next day helping rebuild the town and did not return to his chambers till dark, a filthy sweat on his brow. Merlin felt himself sigh at the state of him, knowing he would have to draw another bath already.

“Working hard?” Merlin inquired as he pulled out the other’s chair, having already set out the Prince’s meal on the table in anticipation of his arrival.

“Camelot needs me,” the blond stated as he sat, “and I need the distraction.” He completely understood the feeling, desperately wishing he could spend just a few seconds out of his own head as he filled the other’s goblet.

As if sensing his internal plea Arthur’s hand gently reached out and brushed a finger over the bandage tied around his palm. Merlin froze at the silent query, his heart thudding irregularly at the gentle touch.

“I was gathering ingredients for Gaius and fell in a bush.” He thought the other might laugh and tease him for his superficial injury, but he only continued to caress his hand. Merlin’s mouth went uncomfortably dry.

“Klutz.” The insult had none of its usual arrogance behind it, the other looking for a moment as though he might even bend down and kiss his palm.

 _Of course he wouldn’t do such a thing, idiot!_ His mind insulted. Merlin slowly pulled his hand away, ashamed at the very hope that the other might show him such affection.

He hurriedly set down the pitcher and went back about his tasks, face unusually hot whilst Arthur quietly ate his meal.

They didn’t speak again for the rest of the night.

∞

If there was one thing he hated even more than the fact he was miserable, it was that so many other people were too. He hadn’t seen Gwen smile in what felt like forever, a permanent frown etched on her beautiful face. Merlin gazed upon it as she passed the recently reset training yard with a basket of linen, Arthur yelling order’s at the knights from behind him. Perhaps a bouquet might make her feel a little better after losing her mistress? Although Arthur might become offended if his feelings for her still lingered.

Merlin frowned.

After trying so hard for so long to get the two together he had all but given up playing cupid. It made him feel strangely guilty, not meddling, despite how badly he’d messed things up in the past. He felt strangely obligated to help them find love after he’d gotten over his crush on her. Gwen was the perfect woman for Arthur- beautiful, supportive, humbling, and she truly cared for him, despite his arrogant nature. They were practically made for each other... so why did picturing the two together now make his stomach twist?

 _Selfishness_ , his mind accused as he watched her disappear into the castle.

A shot of pain struck his forehead, Merlin rubbing the spot Arthur had just flicked.

“What have I told you about thinking so hard?” His master asked, just a hint of a smile on his face. Merlin nearly rolled his eyes.

“My apologies, sire.” The other’s face fell in what looked like concern at his lack of sass, searching his expression a moment before turning back to the knights.

Despite Arthur’s insistence that there were more important tasks which required them Uther had demanded they continue to train regularly, lest they fall under attack whilst at their weakest. Merlin highly doubted that a few days without training would affect their abilities, but there was no refusing the King’s command, ar least not over such a small matter. The mood he was in he’d probably throw Arthur in the dungeon for a week.

“Alright that’s enough for today, go back to your tasks.” There was a clatter of armour as they all slapped each other on the back before going their separate ways.

Merlin obediently followed after the retreating Prince like a loyal horse, head low all the way back into the castle and into his chamber’s. Arthur didn’t even laugh when he almost walked into a pillar, acting as though he hadn’t seen.

Evidently having not learnt for his mistake the brunette kept his gaze to the floor as he shut the wood door of the Prince’s room behind them and began to remove the blond’s armour, the familiar task making him feel almost normal again. Well, his version of normal at least. He wasn’t quite sure if other’s felt a thrumming in their veins as he did, like magic flowing through him. It wasn’t always a pleasant sensation, so he rather hoped they didn’t.

“So how long are you going to keep moping around like a sick dog?” Arthur asked, pulling him from his thoughts. “I’m starting to miss your usual quips.” Despite his mood Merlin felt his lip twitch upwards ever so slightly and flicked his eyes up to see the other smiling softly down at him.

“That’s more like it.” Arthur praised quietly, their bodies almost pressed together with how close he had to be in order to remove the other’s gardbrace.

Arthur held his gaze for longer than felt natural, the blue of his eyes keeping Merlin in place as he realised just how much the colour reminded him of the gates of Avalon.

His heart quickened as the blonde’s strangely large pupils drew down, self-conscious he was staring judgmentally at his nose till he realised it was his lips that had capture the Prince’s attention.

_Surely, he wasn’t going to-?_

His body froze and his mind hiccupped as the other did exactly as he had just convincing himself he wouldn’t, leaning in closer and gently pressing his lips to Merlin’s.

It took the brunette a moment to process what was happening, the Prince’s lip’s surprisingly rougher than he would of expected for… well, a prince. A shot of panic almost caused him to jolt away, but as Arthur’s firm arm wrapped around his middle and he angled his head to kiss him even deeper Merlin found himself melting in his hold, eyelids falling shut.

As if by instinct he began mimicking the other’s osculation, both their lips quickly turning soft and wet.

There was a loud clash as the shoulder-piece slipped from Merlin’s fingers and hit the floor, the warlock jumping in fright and yanking away.

“I-I’m sorry-” he stuttered, eyes wide, “that was- I shouldn’t- we can’t-” He struggled to find words, all the while trying to escape the others hold, but Arthur’s grip on his waist held fast.

“Why?” The blond looked honestly confused, and for a moment Merlin wasn’t even sure. _Because... because it could ruin their friendship?_ Except Arthur had made it clear that they couldn’t be friends because he was a servant, although if they couldn’t even be friends he failed to see how the hell they could be anything more.

Arthur meanwhile didn’t appear to see an issue, leaning closer and kissing Merlin again in a way that made it even harder to think.

 _It felt so nice…_ he supposed there was no harm in letting Arthur use him as a distraction. He could just look at it like another duty, like doing the Prince’s laundry. At least he might actually enjoy whatever Arthur had in mind.

The noise that involuntarily spilled from his throat as the other pried his mouth open and slipped his tongue inside left him feeling disgraced by how easily the other had reduced him to pitiful sounds. He didn’t even think he was technically holding himself up anymore, stumbling blindly as Arthur backed him up into the table.

He gasped and gripped the other’s shoulders, noting things were becoming rather heated fairly quickly. Should he tell him to stop? Not that he wanted him to stop… It just seemed like it was probably the right thing to do... If Kilgharrah was there he would probably tell him to stop before he _interfered with their destinies._

_Bugger destiny._

With that thought he defiantly returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm as Arthur was pouring over him, wrapping his arms around the Prince’s neck and pulling him close. The blond seemed to like that, smiling against him as he lowered the other down onto the table.

The Prince’s erection was rather prominent against him, a small feeling of pride striking him at the knowledge he was able to get the arrogant clot pole hard without even trying. He’d _definitely_ be teasing him over that later.

It was only a moment before the other was rubbing against him, sliding their clothed crotches together in a way that made the brunette’s breath catch.

Arthur pulled away with a grin, leaving his servant breathing heavier than usual as he stepped back and pulled his shirt up over his head.

 _Oh_.

Merlin gaped as the other started undoing his pants, realising he was probably expected to do the same and hurrying to catch up.

Arthur helped him yank of his shirt and before he could finish untying his pants he was being lifted in the other’s arms, gripping the royal’s shoulders as he was carried across the room and tossed onto the bed.

His face burned at the sight of the naked blond crawling on top of him, throbbing cock hanging between his legs. Even his ears felt like they were on fire.

A shot of excitement coursed through him as the other practically ripped the clothes off his lower half with a grin, before swooping down to take his lips with his once again.

Somehow despite touching the royal countless times he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands, afraid he might do something wrong and embarrass himself even further. Besides fooling around with Will when they were bored or cold he’d never really done this before, and they’d definitely never been so... naked. Arthur however seemed pretty sure of himself, as usual, trailing kisses down to his neck before beginning to suck like a babe on it’s mother’s teat.

Merlin quickly realised the other was deliberately trying to make him squeal, sucking harder whenever he found a spot that made him squirm or mewl.

Merlin’s wrists were being held by either side of his head, the blonde’s hands sliding up and intertwining their finger together as their naked bodies writhed.

He came ridiculously close to losing himself before Arthur torturously distanced himself, a mischievous look on his flushed face. The brunette watched, mind befuddled, as he sat between his legs and reached for the bedside drawer, pulling out a small vial of what looked like oil.

Arthur popped the cork off with his teeth and spat it aside, pouring a generous amount onto his hand before gripping his cock.

Merlin went red and tensed up as he realised what the other had planned, his legs instinctively drawing together till they were pressed against the Prince’s sides. The blond meanwhile was moaning unabashed, his head thrown back and eyes shut as he polished his sword.

Merlin swallowed as the other gripped the base of the throbbing appendage tightly before letting himself go and pouring more oil into his palm. Rather than lather it on his cock once again he drew in closer between Merlin’s legs and lifted his manservant’s hips into his lap.

The brunette gasped and gripped the sheets as two slippery fingers breeched his hole, clenching his eyes shut. At the sight of his discomfort Arthur leaned down and began mouthing his chest, Merlin’s heart thundering against his lips. His fingers worked the peasant open slowly as he began kissing and licking his nipple, delighting in the way the other squirmed.

The brunette bit his lip as a third digit pushed inside, the Prince’s fingers spreading open and closed in a way that was boarder-line painful and definitely felt _really_ _weird_.

Finally, he pulled them out and Merlin felt himself relax slightly, at least until the blunt head of the other’s prick pushed against his puckering entrance.

The brunette inhaled sharply as the other shoved in with a pleasured grunt.

 _Oh god it burned._ He found himself hissing in pain and clenching up in an attempt to expel the intrusion.

“Sorry.” Arthur gasped out apologetically, halting his movements so the other could grow used his girth as he reached for the brunette’s genitals. His touch quickly soothed the other back into a relaxed state, the walls clenched around him losing their vice-strength.

Merlin dared to peak down at the space between them, watching Arthur pump his cock and slowly try to push in deeper. The Prince’s body truly was a sight to behold, toned muscles tensed and tanned skin flushed as he called upon all his self-control in an attempt to prevent brutishly mounting his servant like a wild animal.

Merlin chocked a hiss at the sight of the other sinking balls deep inside him, his eyes watering as the blond moaned in pleasure. His pained sounds were quickly disrupted by the royal leaning down and kissing him messily, resting their foreheads together with a string of saliva between them.

The Prince’s eyes were scrunched tightly shut as he panted against Merlin’s lips, doing his best to keep his hips slow and his wrist fast.

The brunette gripped his shoulders tightly as the blond began to lose himself, thrusting harder than before and failing to continue jerking him off. Instead his hands tightly clenched the brunette’s thighs, pulling him close and opening his legs wide.

He wasn’t quite sure what changed but suddenly it didn’t seem so painful anymore. In fact the fullness had become rather satisfying, and the way his cock rubbed against Arthur’s abdomen was creating a delightful friction.

The blond grinned down at him as he began to gasp and moan, the two panting the same air as the Prince began to thrust even harder.

“ _Oh god~!_ ” Merlin gasped, throwing his head back and spreading his legs as the other ploughed into him even deeper than before, the magic in his veins suddenly on fire.

All the candles burned brighter and loose material bellowed without wind to move them, but Arthur was too enamoured to notice.

He moaned the brunette’s name as Merlin’s fingernails dug into his shoulders, spilling his seed as the boy’s walls tightened around him. The sound of his name moaned through Arthur’s lips was all he needed to push him over the edge, gasping as his legs shook with the force of his rapture.

When the spots vacated his vision he found he was completely lax under the other, their sweaty bodies pressed together as the Prince had collapsed on top of him. They were both still panting, Arthur giving him a satisfied smile.

He carefully pulled out, kissing away the cringe on his manservant’s face as cum trickled down his crack. With a satisfied sigh he flopped down beside him, the brunette expecting some obnoxious comment about making him his wench. None came, the future-king instead wrapping his toned arms around him and tucking his face into the warlock’s hair.

Merlin remained completely still as the other breathed in his scent. _So… he supposed he was just supposed to go to sleep now… in the Prince’s bed?_

Before he could dare to ask Arthur’s snoring confirmed his suspicion.


	3. Chapter 3

When he awoke Arthur was already half dressed, taking a moment to notice his bedmate’s fluttering eyelashes as he finished tying up his pants. The sun was glittering through the window from behind him, golden hair glowing like a halo as he sent a soft smile Merlin’s way.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” He teased, but the brunette was too tired to feel embarrassed by the veiled compliment. Instead he let out a groan and rolled over, covering his eyes with his forearm to block out the light.

The bed dipped as Arthur plopped down beside him, the weight of his body draping over the warlock. Merlin grumbled unintelligibly and tried to ignore it before he found himself being roughhoused into fully consciousness, the two giggling as they tumbled together in a mass of limbs.

Arthur’s brilliant smile was as bright as the morning, and it made him feel more alive than he had in an age.

“I’ve had the servants draw a bath for you in the next room, God knows you need it.” He insisted, although considering he had seen Merlin with manure on his face he highly doubted cleanliness was his actual motivation.

“You’re one to talk.” Merlin mumbled, smiling sleepily. Arthur gave him a confused look, the brunette reaching up and removing a small clump of cum from a strand in his hair. Arthur’s face twisted up in disgust, the sorcerer rather hoping whoever Arthur had gotten to fill the tub hadn’t noticed. He wasn’t even quite sure how that had gotten up there.

“Good thing the tub is big enough for two then. Come on!” Merlin whined and defiantly tucked his head under one of the prince’s plush pillows as the other stood back up.

“ _Mer_ lin~” Arthur sang, the brunette unable to help smiling at the way the other purred his name.

“Too sore.” He pouted, snuggling back under the blankets.

Before he could entertain the idea of falling back into the most blissful sleep he’d ever know he was being manhandled again, exhaling sharply as he was lifted up off the bed and carried like he was the royal into the adjoining room.

A steaming bath was waiting by the recently extinguished fireplace, Arthur carefully lowering him down into the warm water. His face heated as the other slipped off his pants and breeches before stepping in with him, ripples threatening to spill over the sides.

In spite of the Prince’s opinion the tub was really only made for one, and so their legs were pressed tightly together. Feeling rather awkward Merlin did his best to take up as little space as possible, his mind beginning to reel.

Should he ask where they stood after last night? Was this the sort of thing you spoke about? Was he supposed to act as though it never happened or did Arthur want it to be a regular thing? If so, was he allowed to initiate intimacy between them himself or would it be more of a ‘I say jump you say how high’ sort of thing?

“You know the point of a bath is to actually get clean right?” Arthur pointed out, the blond currently doing his best to rinse the dried cum from his hair.

Still rather self-conscious Merlin reached for the washcloth on the nearby stool and began to do as suggested. Still he remained rather tense, not quite sure what to do in such a situation. Arthur meanwhile appeared to think nothing was out of the ordinary, lounging in the water completely relaxed.

Merlin flinched and almost dropped his rag as the other’s foot rubbed against his bare hip, a suggestive smile on the Prince’s face.

_Oh._

By the time Arthur had finished having his way with him the floor was a pool.

Merlin quickly mopped it dry and fetched the other’s breakfast before returning home to Gaius with a skip in his step, or rather limp.

His surrogate father rose an inquisitive brow at the bright smile on his recently solemn assistance’s face as he walked through the door, grabbing a hunk of bread off the table.

“There you are, I was beginning to worry.” The old man greeted.

“Uh, sorry. I fell asleep in Arthur’s room.” It was hardly a lie, and not completely unusual, though previously he’d slept on the floor. Thankfully Gaius didn’t question him any further, instead instructing him about his morning deliveries as he ate.

He was given a basket of healing ointments and sent about Camelot to the many victim’s of Kalgharrah’s attack. With each drop off his good mood faded, the sight of people with disfigured faces and limbs all but ripping the joy from his soul. 

By midday he had arrived at his last stop- the royal stables. Usually by now he would be famished, but remorse had made him too nauseous to even consider taking a break for food. Instead he handed the last of the ointment made specifically for the injured horses over to the stable master.

Tyr thanked and informed him the Prince was inside attending to his favourite mare. Merlin bit his lip, not quite sure if he was ready to face the other just yet, but he was given little choice as the bearded man passed him one of the vails and instructed him to give it to his master for the shire. He obediently entered the Prince’s personal stable, the blond standing at the back of the shed petting the chestnut mare’s nose.

A large painful looking burn had stripped the fur from her thigh, Merlin quietly making his approach as not to spook the giant of a horse.

The fair-haired royal forced a smile as he noticed his presence, mouth strangely tight.

“She was lucky. Her foal didn’t make it.” Merlin’s heart broke at the look on his face, amazed by just how much the other loved his animals. It was probably a part of the reason he had so many.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, gaze turning to the floor

“You really need to stop apologising for things you can’t control, Merlin.” The brunette bit his inner cheek, ruefully going about gently applying the ointment to the beast’s wound himself whilst Arthur kept the shire horse calm.

“I asked Giaus if he could spare you,” Merlin looked to the other hopefully, “but there are too many injured.” His heart sunk back into his gut.

“Oh...” _Surely Gaius understood that he needed to protect Arthur?_ _How did he expect him to do that if he wasn’t with him?_ “I’ll try convince him later, I’m sure someone else can make deliveries and gather herbs.”

“I hope so.” Arthur agreed, immediately appearing to rethink his words. “I just mean, without you to attend me I have to do it myself. You know how much I hate servants work.” Merlin rolled his eyes almost fondly.

“Of course.” _Who else would you bugger on cold nights,_ he wanted to tease, _Leon?_

“I do... also, miss your company.” Merlin looked up from the mare’s side rather surprised the other had admitted it, finding that the blond was avoiding his gaze bashfully. He smiled and sealed the ointment back up, walking over to the stable shelf and putting it with the other miscellaneous horse care items that had been left there.

A small soft brush with a silver handle was sitting on the side, the brunette recalling when Arthur had asked him to go buy it a few weeks ago. It had been made especially for the infant horse. Merlin stilled, an awful sting accompanying the memory of just how excited the Prince had been.

His heart jumped as he felt the other’s breath against his nape, lips coming to ghost his neck as Arthur leaned closer and nuzzled his neck. He almost felt like he didn’t _deserve_ to be on the receiving end of such a gentle touch as the other began to mouth his ear, a small sound escaping him as the ridge was nibbled and sucked.

The onslaught only grew dangerously more enticing as he slipped his hand up the warlock’s shirt, his _royal sceptre_ pressing against the commoner’s cleft.

“ _Again?”_ Merlin was unable to mask his shock, not yet recovered from what the other had done to him only a few hours ago.

“Why not?” Arthur purred, gently pinching his nipple as the brunette squirmed.

“We’re in the stables!” He argued, but evidently the other wasn’t convinced, rolling the nub between his fingers even harder and slipping his other hand down into his manservant’s breeches. “The horses are right there! Plus we’ll get all dirty again, and we’re both tired and-” his grievances quickly died when the other stole the breath from his lungs, spinning him around and pulling him close.

Merlin promptly gave in, wrapping his arms around the Prince’s neck and putting his focus on trying to stay quiet as the other nipped at his bottom lip till it was plump and swollen. 

_He seemed to enjoy manhandling him_ , the sorcerer noted with intrigue as he was swept up of his feet and carried over behind the wall of hay, Arthur setting him down gently behind on a pile of loose straw.

The Prince beamed a triumphant smile that sort of reminded him of the one he wore every time he won a tournament, descending upon him with a glimmer in his eyes.

Gaius did not question the loopy grin on his apprentice’s face, nor the hay all through his hair when he finally returned home for lunch.

∞

Arthur left Camelot all too soon, and much to his disappointment Merlin was forced to watch as he rode out of sight.

Gaius, much to his upset, had gone behind his back and beseeched the Prince that he couldn’t do without his assistant until Arthur had outright ordered him to stay. Merlin would have argued further if the old man was not so obviously overworked and desperate for help, permanent swollen purple bags hanging under his eyes. He had more patients than he could keep up with, and more often than not Merlin had to take the easy injuries and illnesses.

On the upside he was learning a lot by observing the physician’s work, and before Arthur had left he’d been able to figure out how to cast a protective spell, turning one of his neckerchief ‘s into a good luck charm. He had hidden it at the bottom of the Prince’s bag with his food, but despite this he still found himself worrying for the other constantly.

His nightmares frequently featured the blond mortally wounded while he could only stand by and helplessly watch, trapped behind a veil that the other could neither see nor hear him through as the life drained from his eyes.

Merlin often woke in a cold sweat from these, panicked that they might be visions and running to the loose floorboard where not only his spellbook was hidden. He had acquired one of the Prince’s buttons, a small golden thing embellished with a tiny dragon (Arthur had insisted every second one be removed from his pourpoint as apparently no item of clothing should require _that_ many buttons) and found a spell that helped him ensure the other was alive. With a whisper in the old religion the metal would glow brightly, assuring him the other was fine, and he could return to his fitful sleep.

It had started to cause him stomach cramps, constantly worrying for the other, and his face was often twisted into borderline agony. Gaius, despite being so overworked he often fell fast asleep at his desk, had given him several different concoctions to dull the pain, but in the end it would only ever subside of its own will. Still he pretended it worked none the less, not wanting the other to near kill himself over something so unimportant. Whenever the other asked how he felt he simply twisted his lips up and did his best to force out an earnest ‘great’ through the discomfort.

He didn’t manage a genuine smile until the Prince’s return a fortnight later, grinning from ear to ear as the bells announced his arrival. He practically ran from the physician’s to the palace courtyard, relief flooding him as the other rode in completely unharmed with all the same people he had left with.

The Prince’s defeated expression waned as he spotted his manservant, managing a small smile before he spotted his father waiting for him at the castle doors.

The king’s frown was practically a glare, sending his son a near hateful look before spinning around and storming back into the castle, his robe bellowing behind him.

Arthur was not required to report as the sovereign had retreated to his chambers and demanded he not be disturbed. Merlin did his best to pretend he wasn’t happy the old man wasn’t grilling his son, the Prince silently joining him as he returned his stallion to the stables before they both made their way up to the blonde’s room.

Merlin’s mind was busily planning to draw the other a relaxing bath and fetch him something sweet to cheer him up as he shut the door behind them, but before he could he found himself pressed up against it with the other’s lips ravishing his.

The blond pulled away to give him a relived look, finally whispering quietly to the flustered commoner.

“Hi~”

“Hi.” Merlin nearly stuttered, mouths quickly locked back together. They didn’t exchanged another word before tumbling into the future king’s bed, hurriedly stripping of their garments.

In the midst of it Merlin noted his kerchief tucked within the Prince’s breastplate, Arthur’s cheeks gaining a little colour as his servant looked at the item with surprise. _This... was not the one he had put in Arthur’s bag._ It was red, not blue, but it was most definitely his.

“I found it in my saddle bag.” The blond quickly defended, though Merlin had been quite certain he’d put the charm in the other’s satchel.

“It must have... fallen off.” He agreed, dropping the subject in leu of a far more pleasurable pass time.

Over the next few days they slowly returned to their normal selves, with the addition of a couple new habits.

During the day it was business as usual, Arthur helping oversee the last of Camelot’s major repairs as he followed him around, while at night they distracted themselves with amorous activities. Gaius quickly stopped asking where Merlin disappeared to at night, simply glad to see his surrogate son acting like his cheerful and tenacious self again.

The brunette finally felt for what seemed like the first time in ages that everything was going to be alright- at least until he stumbled upon Guinevere and Arthur together in the hall outside the Prince’s room.

Neither noticed his appearance, too busy smiling and sharing coy laughter. Gwen was biting her lip and looking shyly up at the Prince from the floor, while Arthur’s expression had that seductive smoulder to it. He knew the look all too well, although he had never before observed it as an outsider.

It felt almost like someone was clutching his heart tightly whilst another punched him in the gut, the warlock unable to stop himself from turning and making a run for it.

He had no destination in mind, only certain that he needed to get away, and yet he wasn’t quite sure why. Why should he care? After all, it wasn’t like two men could fall in love. He’d already known that sex was all it could ever be, and he knew that eventually even that would stop. Arthur needed a Queen, and an heir. Neither of those were something he could provide, even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t.

Surprisingly he found himself stumbling into the Prince’s stables, pointedly ignoring the pile of hay in the corner as he leant back against the wall.

Arthur’s shire gave him a gentle nudge, having grown familiar with him since he’d secretly used magic to help heal her thigh. He nearly toppled over, steadying himself as he gave her a sad smile and pet the giant horses nose. Her black eyes were the size of apples, of which he fetched one from his bag and gave her.

After a short time of stroking the mare he busied himself mucking out the stables, doing his best not to think about the fact that at this moment Arthur may very well be tumbling into bed with his best friend.

∞

When Arthur led the next search party Merlin left with him, Gaius’s duties finally having gone back to their usual load.

Gwen bid them goodbye and good luck, she and Arthur sharing a long look that Merlin couldn’t bear to watch.

For once he was actually glad to be a part of one of Arthur’s quest’s, despite the way the knight’s ordered him about and the pain in his buttocks from both the long travel on horseback and the Prince’s less than gentle treatment.

They scoured the southern villages and border in hope of a trance of the King’s ward, each they crossed apologising and informing them that none but lone merchants had passed through.

During the passing days Arthur focused solely on his task, hardly acknowledging Merlin unless he required something of him. The brunette wasn’t quite sure what he had expected, but it hurt a lot more than it had in the past every time Arthur spoke to him curtly or belittled him. He had also begun pointedly avoiding touching him, not even allowing their hands to brush when he passed him food.

Although he had thought he knew that he had only been a pass time for the other he had to admit the hope it might be something more had crossed his mind. Now he just felt stupid and alone.

The knights, usually so fond of teasing him, seemed to pick up on his sour mood and pity it enough they stopped pushing him around. The lack of chores however only left him more time with his thoughts, which grew increasingly depressing as the days passed.

Sleeping out in the open was even harder than it had been back home, especially with the rest of the parties’ armour clattering every time they shifted. Each knight took it in turns keeping watch, and by early morning he still hadn’t managed to get even an hour’s sleep.

He debated the danger of whispering a spell to help him get just a little sleep before dawn but the soft sound of rustling derailed his thoughts. The knight on watch didn’t notice, his eyelids falling open and shut slowly as he fought a losing battle to stay awake.

The sound came again, and deciding he ought to investigate Merlin quietly stood and managed to sneak into the trees without the watcher noticing.

He yawned into his hand and listened closely, cautiously creeping though the foliage as he sought out the rustlings source.

Merlin quickly came to doubt it was anything dangerous as he found the rustling bush to be hardly as high as his knee, the sorcerer kneeling down and looking into the leaves.

White feathers hit him in the face before he saw the bundle of fluff and wings desperately struggling to get free, trapped in a mass of twigs and thorns.

 _A tammer!_ He’d only seen drawings of them in Gaius’s books on magical creatures, but there was no doubt in his mind that was what the winged rabbit before him was.

It didn’t make a sound despite the sharp barbs sticking in its sides, Merlin whispering to it softly in an attempt to calm it as he reached in and helped dislodge the injured fluff ball. It seemed to understand his intension, stilling so that he could assist it without hitting him in the face again.

He gently pulled it from the bush and held the shaking creature close when it didn’t immediately fly away, checking it’s wings for any breaks. Besides a few cuts which he easily healed it seemed fine, and yet the tiny thing still wouldn’t fly away.

When he attempted to put it up in a tree it only glided back down and landed on his shoulder, snuggling under his kerchief against all the fading hickeys he was pretending weren’t there. _Perhaps it was too nervous to fly off?_ It certainly couldn’t come back with him. Arthur would probably eat it.

From what he had read tammers were a group animal, so its flock must have been close…

“Let’s find your family, yeah?” Merlin whispered, petting the soft creature gently. He wasn’t quite sure if they lived in trees or burrows so he searched both the ground and canopy. His efforts however were fruitless till the creature jumped from his shoulder and flew straight into a tree hollow. Tip toing he Peaked inside and found the tammer snuggling into it’s sleeping flock, a smile on his face as he watched it close it’s eyes.

He quietly lowered himself back down to the forest floor, turning around and realising he had no idea where he was.

 _Great_.

Retracing his steps appeared to be going successfully, at least until the morning mist cleared and the sun rose, the brunette finding he recognised nothing. _So much for tammers bringing good luck._

Before he could panic there was the crunch of twigs from his right, the sorcerer searching the trees for the source of the disturbance.

“You idiot Merlin!” He let out a breath of relief as Arthur insulted him, the blond stomping through the forest with his eyebrows drawn and nostrils flaring. Rapidly his relief faded. “What, you thought you’d just go for a stroll in the forest?!” He mocked furiously.

“Surprised you even noticed.” Merlin mumbled, walking right passed the other towards the camp. The blond grabbed his arm before he could continue on.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?” The brunette bit, realising it had come out far more aggressive than intended, probably due to the lack of sleep.

“Like-! Like... A woman with moonsickness!” Merlin’s eyes thinned dangerously at the blond.

“Well excuse me for feeling a little slighted over the fact you keep acting as though I don’t even exist!” _Ok, so maybe it had been bothering him more than he realised._

“I’m just trying to stay focused!” The prince defended as his servant pulled away and continued walking. “I never should have brought you along it’s too distracting.”

Merlin span around in a fury as he heard the other grumble.

“I haven’t done anything!”

“You don’t need to do anything!” Arthur yelled back. The brunette was about to defend himself and ask what the hell he was talking about before the other had smashed their lips together, shoving him back against a tree.

The relief he felt was bittersweet as Arthur struggled to open their pants, hurriedly turning him around and making him brace against the tree as he pushed down his pants. Merlin hardly found time to decide whether he was ok with what was going on before the other was penetrating him, a choked sound leaving the brunette as the Prince gripped his hips.

He hadn’t realised how empty he’d felt before Arthur was buried down to the hilt, the burn seeming inconsequential by comparison.

If the knights heard anything they gave no indication when the two returned to the campsite, although Merlin found it strange they had all regrouped from searching for him and readied to leave without Arthur’s order.

∞

The South of Camelot proved just as fruitless as the North and East, Arthur clearly frustrated with the lack of progress. It took two days until the castle was back in their sights, and Merlin would have felt some sense of happiness if he wasn’t so nauseous.

He blamed whatever game Arthur had made him eat. He wasn’t sure if it was guilt at his brash and rough actions in the woods but ever since he had insisted on being the one to roast his hunts, and even by his own admittance he had no idea how to cook.

As soon as he dismounted Merlin felt his stomach lurch, his eyes flying wide as he was given only a second to throw himself towards the closest bucket before he was emptying his guts.

Arthur rushed to his side as he doubled over, vomiting violently into the water pail. The buckets owner stood by shocked, having been about to offer it to the horses.

“Idiot, you probably got sick when you wandered off.” The blonde’s concern hinted through his accusation, Merlin too sore and ill to argue the impossibility. Instead he allowed the other to help him to his feet and take him straight to Gaius.

The blond stood with his arms crossed by the table Merlin sat on as the physician looked him over.

“It’s likely a passing ailment, but I want you on bedrest for the day.”

“I’m fine.” The brunette argued.

“That’s an order, _Merlin_.” Giaus rose a brow amused as Arthur’s voice rang clear and firm, the authority in it silencing his pouting servant.

Despite his initial dispute the brunette fell asleep right after laying down, remaining so until the afternoon.


	4. Chapter 4

“You can’t come.”

“Why not!?” Merlin objected, daring to openly oppose the Prince in the privacy of his royal chambers.

“You’re sick!” Arthur frustratedly pointed out.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine!” He honestly felt okay. The nausea only tended to pop up if he smelled something unappealing, and besides getting dizzy if he stood up too fast or feeling a little wearier than usual he had completely recovered from whatever ailment had afflicted him three days prior.

Arthur eyed him closely, searching for any hints of a lie. He had given him an extra day off to make sure he was well before Merlin had insisted he be allowed to get back to work, and other than being a little more clumsy than usual he hadn’t even sneezed. There was colour back in his cheeks too, though not enough he suspected a fever.

The royal finally sighed, his man-servant’s overly large eyes having burrowed into his soul.

“If Gaius says it’s fine you can come.” Merlin beamed brightly, returning to helping Arthur pack.

They were due to leave first thing in the morrow. Uther was hardly giving his son or the knights time to recover before sending them back out. The man’s temperament had gotten even worse in his worry for his beloved surrogate daughter, and he had sent spies out into all the neighbouring kingdom. Only one had sent back word of a fair skinned noble lady with dark hair seen in the home of a lord. It was probably just a mistress, but still Uther insisted his son take the four-day journey to make sure.

To Arthur it felt like all he did lately was ride around, but despite the banality of it Merlin’s joy brought a smile to his face, the Prince reaching out and pulling his ray of sunshine close.

Packing could wait.

Giaus later agreed that Merlin was in fit health, though he still stuffed the boy’s bag with a week’s supply of nausea and energy potions to combat lingering symptoms.

They departed at dawn, the warlock granted the privilege of riding Arthur’s shire as she was one of the few able for such long journeys.

Not an hour in and he immediately regretted begging the blond to let him come along. He did his best to hide how ill the sway of the beast made him feel, made worse by how high he was off the ground. Still he was pretty sure the other could tell by the way his face was twisted up tightly, and how relieved he looked whenever they had the chance to dismount.

Arthur was at least treating him like normal again, if a little over attentive at times. It felt as if he was just watching and waiting for him to vomit up his guts.

Two days in and Merlin had nearly run out of his supposed weeks supply of potions. He desperately wished he was curled up on a mattress back in Camelot, preferably Arthur’s as it had nice big cushions and a thick blanket. The desire to protect his Prince seemed to pale in comparison to his need for a proper meal and a bed. It felt like a pile of horse dung had been dropped on his head, although that would at least be warm by comparison.

The air hadn’t yet lost it’s morning chill as the group trot down a lone countryside trail, having just left the forest and last night’s campsite. Despite the fact that he’d only just mounted the horse it felt like they’d been riding hours, his vision beginning to dot as it sometimes did when he was fatigued.

He was so busy keeping the contents of his stomach down he didn’t think much of the black cluttering his vision, feeling strangely lax and… confused by his orientation.

When had everything gone… sideways? His head was thudding, eyes coming in and out of focus as he realised he was no longer on his horse. Instead he appeared to have fallen to the ground, his brow furrowing at the indistinguishable sounds around him.

Arthur was kneeling in front of him, a worried look on his face. He appeared to be saying something but Merlin wasn’t quite sure, his ears taking a moment to decrypt the muffled sound.

“-erlin! Merlin!” _Oh, that’s what he was saying._

With the blonde’s assistance he managed to sit up, his eyes squinted against the light which suddenly seemed unbearably bright.

“That’s it,” Arthur declared, “you’re going back to Camelot!”

“‘M fone.” The brunette mumbled as the blond put his arm around his back and underarm to help him up, another knight rushing to assisting him.

“Oh well as long as your ‘fone’!” He bit sarcastically before turning to the rest of the party. “Leon, Percival, escort him back to the castle.” Merlin shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, propped up against the mare. _Had the temperature suddenly dropped?_ His fingers felt like ice.

“No- it’s fine, I’ll go on my own.” He couldn’t let him give up his two best knights, _what if he came across a beast, or a rival kingdom soldiers_?

“What so you can pass out on your own in the middle of the forest and get eaten by wolves? Oh yeah Merlin, great plan.” He would have argued but his teeth had begun to chatter and Arthur gave him what almost constituted as a glare, assessing his state whilst Leon tied his mare’s reigns to his fellow knight’s.

“You’ll ride with Sir Percival, here.” He removed his cloak, a thick red material with a fur lining, and wrapped it around the shivering commoner’s shoulders, the brunette immediately pulling it close and covering his frozen nose.

Leon assisted him in climbing awkwardly up in front Percival, though personally Merlin would have much preferred sitting behind him. He may not be able to fall off this way but at least sitting behind wasn’t so intimate. Plus, after days in the wild the knight wasn’t smelling so great.

He felt an awful lot like a chastened child as he and the two knights made their way back into the forest toward Camelot.

Slowly, the sounds of Arthur and his men faded behind them, instead replaced by the silence of the woods. Not even a bird chirped, and it took him a moment to realise just how strange that was. He could have sworn they had been singing a moment ago, and yet now it felt eerily quiet outside of the horse’s hooves and jangling chainmail.

The hair on the back of his neck rose, though he was unsure if it was from sir Percival’s breath on his ear or a instinctual sense of unease.

Merlin’s eyes flickered about, searching the trees for whatever had startled the native fauna into hiding.

“AHHHHHHH!!!”

There was a war cry before the clamour of metal, and suddenly figures burst forth from all around, an ambush of filthy bandits running at them like feral wild boars.

Leon’s horse reared, both knights pulling out their weapons and readying to defend. Percival had to dismount in order to fight without Merlin in the way, the warlock clumsily floundering for his sword. Barely a moment after he had managed to yank it from it’s sheath and he was blocking an axe. The strength behind it was enough to knock him back, his ankle trapped in the stirrup as he slid from the horse and landed with a groan on his back.

He had no time to recover his breath from being winded before he was defending himself again, the knight’s horse startled by one of the bandits falling against it. Before his opponents’ weapon could come down on his neck the stallion was galloping away, dragging him across the dirt path with sticks and stones scraping down his spine. 

He managed to whisper a command from his spellbook and both horses abruptly halted, the sorcerer hissing in pain as he struggled to free his leg and lurched toward his dropped sword.

They were outnumbered three to one, but at the sounds of clinking armour and galloping hooves Merlin let out a breath of relief, Arthur riding into view with his teeth bared and sword high.

One thief, already injured, retreated into the forest, while the other eight were forced to stand their ground, seven locked in battle with the two struggling knights while one barrelled towards Merlin.

He managed to get up onto his feet and defend himself back into a tree, blocking each hit of the other’s curved blade whilst checking to see if it would be noticed if he cast a spell.

Arthur had cut down three men, and the other knights two more. None were looking his way, and so he took the chance. The shire was nearby, and with a small suggestion spell she kicked back with her giant hooves, hitting the man right in the side of the head.

He flew backwards and landed on the floor like an anvil, Merlin so happy with the horse he didn’t see another robber running towards him.

He flinched back as a flurry of red jumped in front of him. Arthur’s sword clashed with the thieves, the enraged villain swiping with his second hatchet and slicing across his chest. The wound hardly made him faulter, stabbing his sword straight into the bandit’s stomach.

His eyes slowly drained of life as he collapsed to the ground, the forest floor stained with the blood of their attacker’s.

The last man fell at one of the knight’s hands, Arthur clutching his chest with a pained expression once he was certain the danger had passed. Merlin rushed to stand before him, shoving the Prince’s hands away and observing the wound. It was superficial, though it would probably leave a scar, and with how filthy their attackers had been he assumed their weapons were no cleaner, so Arthur was likely at risk for infection.

One of the knights fetched the Prince’s fallen cloak, Merlin noting the material was dirty and torn as he searched through his bag for a healing ointment. _Damn, he was going to have to fix that_.

“It’s fine.” Arthur insisted when he returned to his side, the royal trying to shove him away. Merlin however would not let up, already trying to remove his shoulder piece so he could get his shirt off and patch him up. “Alright alright!” The blond finally relented when Merlin started pulling off his shirt, stepping back to remove the item of clothing and undershirt himself.

“I wouldn’t have to patch you up if you’d worn your chainmail.” Merlin pointed out, his worry for the other making him sound irritated .

“I just saved your life, how can you be mad at me?!” The knights seemed to find the exchange amusing, hiding smirks as they went about readying to ride again once the prince was patched up.

“I’m not mad.” Merlin mumbled, carefully cleaning the wound with his water and slathering ointment gently over the cut.

It was whilst he was bandaging the other Sir Leon spoke up, the party already prepared to travel.

“Sire, you should return to Camelot.”

“No need, I will continue on.” The blond insisted, pulling his clothes back on.

“Arthur, please.” Merlin begged, his eyes big and pleading. It was a look the Prince couldn’t resist, begrudgingly agreeing with a sigh as his armour was fastened back in place.

He barked orders at the rest of the group, putting Leon in charge of the search party and extending his hand to Merlin so his manservant could ride with him.

He had to admit he felt far more comfortable encompassed by Arthur’s arms as the Prince set his stallion into a trot, Sir Percival’s horse and the attached mare following. He was wary not to lean back into the other’s injury and yet it felt so warm and safe, the adrenaline from the fight quickly leaving him even more exhausted than before.

He fell asleep against Arthur’s chest, the Prince allowing him to rest.

∞

It took a day ana a half for them to return as Arthur was evidently impatient, working the horses to exhaustion. Rather than riding into the Castle courtyard he and Sir Percival separated, the blond taking Merlin straight to Gaius.

Merlin was put on bedrest for two days and Arthur’s wound was re-wrapped, though it seemed to be healing well enough. It still looked painful however, and the Prince too was ordered to spend the next two days taking it easy.

The brunette, however, could not rest. The thought of someone else tending to Arthur, especially while he was injured, made his gut twist uncomfortably. _What if it was a spy? Or another sorcerer?_ Dear god, what if it was _Gwen?_

Unable to lay and continue worrying he snuck out without the physician’s notice and made his way to the castle.

Arthur had no doubt ignored his orders to rest and was probably still explaining his early return to his father, so he was confident he could go to the Prince’s chambers and relieve whoever had taken his place without being caught. Then hopefully he could convince Arthur that he was fine once he’d proven his usefulness.

He peaked into the Prince’s chambers and found it empty, no other servant in sight. There was however a mess of clothes on the floor, and he immediately gave in to the urge to tidy up before the other returned.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” _Damn_.

Merlin turned around with a nervous smile, finding that Arthur had been hidden behind the changing screen. He wore only a pair of comfortable pants, his arms crossed as he glared at the servant accusingly.

“Your laundry?” The brunette answered, the Prince’s expression failing to soften.

“You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“I’m fi-Ahh! Arthur!” He didn’t have time to lie before he was hefted over the other’s shoulder on the blonde’s uninjured side, dropping the bundle of clothing as he was carried like a sack of flour.

The Prince flopped him onto the bed, climbing next to his flustered man-servant and laying down.

“Rest.” He ordered, pressing a soft kiss to Merlin’s temple and wrapping an arm around him.

The brunette could only nod, face red as he tucked himself under the other’s arm and let his fatigue take him.

∞

Arthur jolted up in the dark hours of the morning, the violent sound of heaving shocking him from sleep.

He looked about frantically for the source, quickly spotting Merlin on his knees with his head in the empty pot that usually hung above the fire.

He was vomiting loudly, the sound frighteningly severe. Any trace of fatigue was shocked straight from Arthur’s system, the blond practically leaping from bed and hurrying to crouch beside the other. He faltered a moment, unsure what to do before settling to rubbing circles on the other’s back, waiting for the expelling to stop.

When it did Merlin slowly lifted his head from the bowl and wiped his mouth, giving the other a coy smile.

“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Can you walk?” Arthur all but interrupted with strange urgency.

“I-I guess?” The brunette replied, looking unsure. Arthur slipped an arm around him and helped Merlin to his feet, hefting him towards the door. The prince hadn’t even bothered to put on a shirt. “Where are we going?”

“Gaius.”

“He’ll be asleep!” Merlin croaked, evidently not wanting to disturb anyone else.

“Shut up!” Arthur hissed, avoiding all the guard stations with practiced ease and sneaking Merlin out of the castle to the royal physician’s quarters.

Once they arrived the prince slammed on the wooden door with his fist, Merlin flinching with a cringe.

“Shhhhh!” Arthur only rolled his eyes, preparing to knock again.

The door squeaked open slowly, Gaius’s haggard face drawn heavy with sleep.

“Your Highness?”

“Sorry Gaius.” Merlin apologised, the Prince all but dragging him inside.

“He’s vomiting again.” He made the warlock sit on the table and stood with his arms crossed, brazenly waiting for the examination to begin.

“I see.” Gaius yawned, hobbling over to do as the other had wordlessly ordered. Merlin gave him another apologetic look, the old man checking his eyes for discolouration, his gland for swelling, and his stomach for bloat. He noted the last one to be the only obvious symptom, pressing down gently to see if he reacted in pain. He did not.

“The most likely diagnosis I can come to is some kind of parasite.”

“Probably from eating Arthur’s cooking.” Merlin mumbled tiredly as the prince pouted.

“A simple mixture of oregano oil, clove oil, and wormwood should kill it.”

“Thanks.” Gaius nodded and went over to his workbench to put the concoction together, Arthur following behind.

“What is it, really?” The prince whispered, looking worried.

“My lord?”

“I order you to tell me the truth.” Gaius sighed, knowing the other would not let up.

“I‘m not sure. His illness is not like any I’ve encountered.” Arthur looked horrified, sneaking a look over at the sleepy brunette before turning back to him. “But it doesn’t appear to be deadly.”

“...Could it be magic?” He asked apprehensively, but Gaius didn’t answer. “He could have been cursed when he went off on his own, the druids used to occupy that part of the forest.”

“It’s possible.” Gaius agreed, both of them turning to look at Merlin as he yawned, his eyelids drooping.

“My father cannot know of this.” Arthur ordered, the physician nodding in agreement. “Is there any way to tell if it is magic?” He knew the old man had once practiced sorcery, perhaps he knew a way?

“I will look into it.”

“Good, but don’t tell Merlin,” Gaius raised a brow curiously. “I don’t want to frighten him.” He seemed almost amused by that, a small smile on his wrinkled lips.

“Perhaps you could keep an eye on him for me, report back any symptoms that he might fail to mention.” Arthur nodded and the old man shook up the anti-parasite in a small tincture, handing it over to the prince.

He gave the man his thanks and forced Merlin to down the apparently disgusting liquid whole before leaving the physician to rest.

Gaius didn’t question where Merlin was going, let alone why he had been with Arthur so early in first place.

∞

As requested he kept a close eye on his manservant for the next few days, but nothing seemed too strange. He had grown a little rounder, though he attributed that to how much more he was eating compared to normal. He didn’t even hide it when he ‘snuck’ food from the Prince’s plate anymore.

He had gotten a bit worried when his lover’s mouth had started tasting strangely sweet, concerned it was another symptom till Merlin explained he’d simply been eating a lot of honey lately (or rather stealing it from the royal kitchens).

He did mention the other’s, for lack of a better description, moonsick like behaviour though, the sudden changes in his temperament becoming more and more apparent as time passed. One minute the brunette was all smiles, and the next Arthur would find him hidden away crying for the stupidest of reasons (one being that the mouse Arthur had ordered him to kill was too cute). Then, without warning Merlin would be in his lap biting his lips off!

He wasn’t sure what to think of it, worried the illness was sending his manservant insane. Even Gwen had noticed his behaviour, commenting that he was acting like the cook when she had been pregnant. Arthur had laughed until he realised how right she was. That was _exactly_ how he had been acting.

He hurriedly excused himself and rushed down to Gaius, breathless by the time he burst into the physician’s home.

The white haired elder rose his gaze from whatever research he was conducting and sent him a curious look.

“Your highness?”

It was now Arthur realised how ridiculous his hunch was. He wasn’t even sure how to express it to the other... at least not without sounding mad.

“Is there… any kind of curse which might cause say,” he tried to sound as casual as possible, taking a short pause, “a man to get… pregnant?”

Gasius’s brow rose.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Nevertheless he stood and went over to the overflowing bookshelf, taking an unbearably long time to find what he was looking for. The impatient Prince was jiggling his leg in frustration, waiting rather tensely on an uncomfortable wooden chair.

Gaius flicked through it and came to sit by him, the blond leaning closer to try read what he was looking at.

It seemed to be a book on the unusual habits of druids, but it was written in old Anglo-Saxon so it would take Arthur ages just to translate a single page.

“A second person would certainly need to be involved.” Gaius mumbled, Arthur’s mouth feeling a little dry.

“Let’s say there was a second person, just, hypothetically.” He commented in what he hoped was an offhanded manner.

“Then it would be… possible.”

Gaius’s eyes widened, seeming to catch on to what Arthur was suggesting.

“Oh dear... Perhaps you should go fetch Merlin.”


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur found him in the laundry room, sleeves pushed up past his elbows as he worked to clean the prince’s clothes. The blond immediately grabbed him by the arm without explanation and began to drag him away from the basin, water dripping all over the floor.

“Wha-hey!?” Merlin tugged away gently to test the other’s determination, but his grip held fast. “Wait, the colour will run!” Arthur only rolled his eyes, uncaring.

“Gaius needs to run some tests.” He informed, the brunette speeding up and falling in step so he wasn’t being hauled around like a prisoner.

“But I’m fine?” Arthur however was a man on a mission, and it appeared nothing he could say would make the other explain the impromptu appointment. In fact he seemed rather closed lipped about it.

“Just- shut up we’re going to Gaius!” Merlin’s eyebrows raised, reminding the blond very much of the court physician, but surprisingly shut his mouth the rest of the way.

As strange as Arthur’s behaviour was Gaius would surely have some answers for him, Merlin reasoned.

He was annoyingly wrong.

As soon as they arrived the old man shoved a cup into his hands and shooed him away.

“Go urinate in this.” He instructed hurriedly.

“Why?”

“Just do it!” Arthur snapped, Merlin noting both men looked rather serious. That in mind he hid up in his room and tried to do as asked. It seemed however his body struggled to perform under pressure, as he stood waiting for his bladder to let go.

He flinched as Arthur slammed on the door.

“Hurry up!”

“I’m trying!” He bit back.

Arthur hmphed and began pacing outside the other’s door. Gaius wisely kept his comments to himself, pouring clear wine into a glass cup.

 _Really? He was drinking right now!?_ Though come to think about it he could really use a cup to calm his nerves, but the old man didn’t offer, nor did he drink from the one he’d poured.

Finally, he heard the tell-tale sound of Merlin managing a weak stream, the Prince waiting impatiently for the other to finally open the door. Why he’d decided to be modest all of a sudden he’d never know.

Merlin opened the door with his usual ‘I completed the task you asked me to even though I didn’t want to’ smile, and Arthur promptly followed him like a lost puppy back down to Gaius.

The old man took the cup and poured it into the wine, sloshing it around to mix it before setting the glass back down on the table.

A moment of silence passed, the physician’s eyes trained on the mixture. Merlin gave them both a questioning look, but Arthur was staring just as intently.

“What exactly are we waiting for?” The brunette finally asked.

“A reaction may or may not occur within ten minutes.” Merlin nodded slowly, still having absolutely no idea what was going on.

“And… if a reaction occurs?” He pressed, hoping for some clue as to what was going on.

“...My diagnosis will be correct.”

 _Great. Another ridiculously cryptic answer. It was like talking to Kilgarah_.

Arthur was just as unhelpful, staring fixedly at the cup. His arms were crossed as he stood tall, brow drawn together and lips set in a tight line. His blue eyes seemed harsher than usual, focusing so intently with such... he wasn’t even sure what the other was feeling. He wanted to say concern but you could never know with Arthur.

Five minutes of silence later and the prince drew in a sharp breath, the wine having begun to change shade, growing darker.

“What does that mean?” Merlin asked, having become concerned himself. Arthur was white as a sheet, and Gaius wasn’t far behind.

“It... would appear, congratulations are in order.” Now he was even more confused, Gaius hesitating to continue, “You’re... with child.”

...

“I’m sorry what?” _He must have misheard him._

“I have a few other tests I can run to be entirely certain.”

“You’re joking.” He looked between both Gaius and Arthur, his smile quickly fading. The Prince had begun to look rather green and wasn’t meeting his eyes. “This isn’t funny.”

Gaius turned to the blond and spoke gently, as if worried he’d startle the royal.

“Your highness, perhaps we could have a moment alone?” The white-haired physician asked quietly, and though the blond couldn’t seem to speak he nodded and went to stand outside, his movement strangely rigid.

They could still see his shadow under the door, so Gaius led the comatose Merlin back up to his room where they could speak without being overheard. Merlin immediately dropped onto his bed, feeling like he weighed as much as a horse. The other slowly came to sit beside him.

“This is insane-” He spluttered.

“Merlin calm down-”

“How the hell could I be _pregnant_!?”

“Calm yourself, my boy.” Gaius instructed gently, a comforting hand gripping his knee. “Arthur is under the impression you must have stumbled upon some magical curse and been effected. He has sworn me not to tell Uther, he will not turn you over.” The brunette nodded, thanking the gods his magic was somehow still a secret. “However, I’ve done some research, and it would appear among druids their magic sometimes acts of its own and can allow even men to become…” Merlin’s eyes widened as the other trailed off in implication.

“ _I_ did this?”

“Well no, Arthur did of course have equal involvement.” His mouth fell open as he gave the older a scandalised look.

“ _Gaius!_ ”

“What? Do you think I’m really so oblivious?” The old man teased, his apprentice going rather red. “Now, before Arthur returns tell me what you want to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there are ways to… prevent any further development, should you want that.” At first a horrified expression crossed Merlin’s face, though... he supposed logically that made sense. Still his stomach curled and his hairs stood on end, the magic in his veins seeming to churn like an ocean mid storm.

“I…” he honestly didn’t know what to do. This was all too much, too sudden. How was he supposed to decide when he wasn’t even sure he believed it yet?

The sound of the Prince’s footsteps nearing drew both their eyes towards the door, Gaius grabbing his attention once again and whispering so the blond wouldn’t overhear.

“No matter Arthur’s wish, I will support you in your decision.” He assured, Merlin’s confused body seeming to calm slightly at that.

Fear, he came to realise suddenly. _He was afraid._

“I’ll think about it.” Gaius nodded with a paternal smile, three knocks following on his bedroom door. Arthur didn’t wait for permission (when did he ever) before peaking his head inside, looking uncharacteristically coy.

“Everything ok?” Merlin nodded, thankful the other’s demeanour had considerably softened. It helped him relax just that little bit more.

“I’ll leave you two too speak.” Gaius offered with a smile, standing and changing places with the Prince. Arthur thanked him before shutting the door, hesitantly coming to sit beside the brunette on the rather sad excuse for a bed.

Neither could meet the other’s eyes, the two sitting awkwardly in silence for a painful minute.

Merlin’s brain was still tripping over the events of the past... what, twenty minutes? Probably less. Somehow still none of it seemed real.

Arthur broke the silence, Merlin not feeling ready to speak.

“It’s… definitely mine, right?” The brunette’s gaze snapped toward him, the most offended look he had ever seen on his friend’s face. “Well I didn’t want to assume!”

“Of course it’s yours you dolt!” The brunette bit back.

“Ok good!” They both suddenly fell silent, Merlin’s eyebrows raised.

“...Good?” Arthur began to stutter.

“Well, not… bad at least, preferable, to the- err- alternative.”

“What’s the alternative?”

“Eeeer… Gaius?”

Merlin couldn’t help the guffaw that escaped him, and the next moment they were both laughing, the tension between them melting away. Slowly the mirth died, the two finally able to hold each other’s gaze without needing to look away.

“Do you... want to keep it?” Arthur asked, his friends face twisting up immediately. “I won’t force you to.” He quickly assured.

“You want me to keep it?” Merlin couldn’t even begin to mask his shock, having been certain the blond would want it gone. After all it would be his bastard, unable to ascend the throne, and with Uther as the current King its existence would threaten both their lives.

“I mean...” the blond looked rather frustrated with himself as he seemed to think, finally sighing as he looked to the floor. “No one could ever know.” He sounded rather depressed at that, no doubt thinking just the same as the brunette.

“We’d know.” Merlin pointed out, unsure if that was a good or bad thing. Evidently though it was the right thing to say as Arthur smiled softly and leant in to press their lips together, cupping his lover’s face gently.

“So… What are we going to do?” Merlin asked when they parted, looking to the other for support. Arthur grinned.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

∞

Merlin did not like the plan.

He wasn’t even sure if ‘plan’ was the right word for it. All Arthur wanted to do was keep him locked up in his room once he started to show and tell everyone he was sick!

He might have gotten a little mad at the other over it, arguing that he didn’t want to be his dirty secret carrying Arthur’s bastard (he later blamed the aggressive wording on pregnancy madness) but the blond had quickly reassured him it was only for his and the baby’s safety.

There was another thing Merlin wasn’t used to yet. Arthur had already started calling it ‘their baby’, and meanwhile he still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact he was pregnant in the first place.

It had taken him two days to realise, or rather accept, that _there was an actual living being forming within him._ He had of course panicked, and Arthur had done an absolutely terrible job of calming him down. He needed someone to talk to, to tell him everything was going to be alright, and Arthur was useless in that regard. Gaius meanwhile kept reminding him he could remove it at any time, and though he was of course trying to be supportive, each time only served to set him on edge.

The blond could tell, and had suggested they share the secret with _Gwen_ of all people.

The suggestion probably wasn’t worth the absolute flip out he had thrown at him, but once he’d managed to calm him down he had made some excellent points. Gwen was the only other person they could truly trust, and she could attend Merlin when Gaius wasn’t available. Plus, she needed something to occupy her time without Morgana around.

The brunette had argued she’d only grow to hate him because of their previous romance, but Arthur only scoffed, insisting they’d both just had silly crushes on each other.

Despite Merlin’s begging for the other to keep his mouth shut the next day he found Gwen at his door, announcing that Arthur had hired her to ‘assist Merlin however he may need’ in his serving tasks. He had immediately stormed up to the Prince’s room, the handmaiden following behind him in a befuddled fashion.

Arthur appeared to have only just woken up and (badly) dressed when he burst through the door, the shocked prince only able to stare as his infuriated manservant yelled.

“I told you not to tell her! Why do you completely disregard everything I say?! Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t make me an invalid-!” The prince had clasped his hand over his mouth, Gwen hurriedly shutting the door to prevent anyone overhearing.

“I didn’t tell her, you just did along, with half the castle!” The blond hissed, before slowly uncovering his mouth.

“Oh...” His embarrassment was written clearly on his face, the two looking timidly over at Gwen. The girl was staring at them, mouth agape.

“You’re a woman?” She asked Merlin in a whisper, stepping closer in a secretive fashion.

“No!”

“Yes.” Both boys answered together, Merlin glaring back at the blond. “It’s as good an explanation as any.” Arthur argued quietly, his lover rolling his eyes.

“I’m _not_ a woman.” He bit, more at the Prince than her.

“Then how...?”

“Uhhh.” He turned to Arthur, the blond taking it as his que to take over.

“We’re not exactly sure, but somehow he stumbled across… something, when we were in the forest and managed to get himself pregnant.”

“ _I_ got _myself_ pregnant?” Merlin hissed in accusation.

“Hey, I hardly did anything, and for all we know the forest knocked you up.” Merlin was about ready to straight up slap the other at the mere suggestion, but thankfully Gwen drew his attention.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Just Gaius.” The brunette confirmed. 

“And you are not to tell anyone, especially not my father.” Arthur ordered, the girl nodding.

“Of course.”

“I need you to take care of Merlin while I’m gone. Make sure he goes to every appointment Gaius gives him and eats well.”

“I can take care of myself.” Arthur scoffed, going over to continue doing whatever it was he had been doing before their ‘arrival’.

“You can hardly take care of me.” The blond rebutted. Merlin’s brow furrowed, finally noticing Arthur was shoving clothes into a bag.

“Wait, your leaving again? Already?” The brunette asked, his face having visibly fallen.

“I only found out this morning and I’m expected gone by midday.” The Prince offered apologetically, “Father got another tip for one of his spies about Morgana’s whereabouts.”

Merlin wanted to argue, but he knew it would be useless, so instead he bit his tongue and tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. It must have still been obvious because the other halted his actions to gently take his hand, not seeming to care Gwen was right beside them.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He promised. The brunette could only nod, hoping desperately as he began to help the other prepare that he was just going off on another harmless goose chase.

By lunch Arthur had left and he felt all the worse for it, as if someone had straight up torn the joy from his soul. It was probably just another passing side effect of his current condition, he reassured himself, like the starving hunger plaguing him.

Thankfully Gwen was a wonderful cook and had taken her job in caring for him very seriously. He currently sat by her in the woman’s home, the two eating their meals in relative silence.

He couldn’t help feeling horribly awkward, especially since they’d barely traded any nonessential words since the events of the morning.

“I’m really sorry about this.” He offered.

“About what?” She honestly didn’t seem to understand to his surprise.

“I didn’t mean to come between you and Arthur.” Gwen only smiled gently, not a hint of a jealous bone in her beautiful body. She reached out and gently placed her hand over his, all the kindness in the world in her eyes.

“Merlin, as strange as all this is, I’m happy for you. Truly.” He could only nod, dumbfounded as she pulled away and returned to her meal. “Besides, if I’m honest, my heart has been for Lancelot for some time.”

Relief flooded him, but at the same time a pang of guilt struck his soul.

“Oh Gwen, I’m so sorry.” She smiled sadly, no idea of how sorry he truly was. “I’m sure he’ll come back.” _Once Uther falls_ was left unsaid.

“...I hope so.”

∞

It took Arthur longer than ever before to return, Merlin’s only reassurance the button he’d begun carting about in his pocket.

Most of his days were spent assisting Gaius, having little else to do but care for the Prince’s dogs and horses. Gwen did her best to keep his mind off it all, spoiling him each mealtime as the Prince had given the cook orders to allow both his servants anything they should wish from the food stores.

It was probably a lame attempt at an apology or something for accidentally getting him pregnant, allowing his all the honey he wanted, Merlin mused as he chopped up herbs for Gaius. He’d already started putting on weight, much to his own chagrin.

He wasn’t exactly showing, per se, but his stomach looked as if it was in a state of constant bloat, and he could swear even his pectorals seemed rounder. If he started to form breasts he was going to straight up smack Arthur when he next saw him.

Merlin froze as a shadow loomed over him from behind, his wrist grabbed and knife removed from his hand as he was suddenly dipped back over a strong arm, the coarse unpleasantness of stubble pressing against his mouth as his lips were stolen.

He lashed out, slapping the intruder with his free hand.

The familiar cry as the figure stumbled back was a shock to his system, quickly realising Gaius was watching amused from the table.

“ _Arthur!?_ ” The Prince, in a rather rugged state, rubbed the blooming red mark on his face. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” Gaius was stifling laughter.

“It’s okay, though I will say pregnancy has made you hit a lot harder.” Arthur replied, evidently glad enough to see him he’d let the assault slide.

Merlin gave him a guilt ridden and embarrassed look, the two drawing closer till their lips met in gentle apology.

Gaius coughed, reminding them of his presence, and Merlin promptly pulled away. The blond had slipped his hand over his stomach and was caressing the small bump, a look of awe on his face. He didn’t even seem to notice the third.

Merlin quickly hurried them away up to the Prince’s quarters, the two falling on the bed and kissing till he could no longer bare the rash developing on his cheeks.

“You have to shave.” He insisted, pulling away.

“Now?” Arthur asked breathlessly, watching with disbelief as the other stood.

“Yes, and bathe.” _The smell was becoming overwhelming_.

“Like, right now?” The blond asked again, but the other had already left to prepare his bath.

He sighed and collapsed on the bed when it became clear Merlin meant business, submitting to his manservant’s wishes. Even attempting to seduce him whilst the brunette undressed him only earned him giggling, the sorcerer having much more success coaxing him into washing and removing the growth from his face.

Only then did he finally allow him to take him back to bed and ravish his body.

Amongst the ravishing Arthur spent an awful lot of time staring down at him in wonder, kissing up his belly and fondling his swollen breast. The relief that flooded Merlin was like one of Gaius’s calming potions, euphoria sending him into pleasant dizziness.

Once Arthur had finally had his full, or more accurately finished filling his lover, he wrapped his arms around the commoner and pressed his lips to his temple.

“I missed you.” He sighed, the confession warming Merlin’s heart.

“I missed you too.” He couldn’t help but grin, nestled in his Prince’s arms. Pregnancy madness or not, he was quite certain he’d never felt quite this happy.

∞

As he wasn’t yet obviously round, he was able to continue to assist Arthur without suspicion, though he was looking into a glamour in order to hide the bump as long as possible. So far however he’d only managed to learn how to disguise love-bites, and even that could be exhausting over long periods.

Merlin hurriedly shut his spell book at the sound of footsteps approaching his room, scrambling to hide it under his pillow. 

Arthur entered with a smile, Merlin anxiously gripping the corner of his pillow.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.”

“I thought I had today off?” Gaius had put him on bedrest, insisting that he was working too hard and it was bad for the baby. Even the old man had started calling it ‘the baby’ when they were alone, seeming almost... excited, as the days rolled into weeks.

Arthur sat beside him, looking rather pleased with himself. Merlin only hoped the book was well enough hidden that he didn’t notice.

“I found something.”

“What?”

“You know the north-east tower?” Merlin drew his brows together, interest piqued.

“The sealed off one?”

“Sealed off until the dragon attack knocked the wall down,” the Prince corrected, “I found it leads up into a private bedchamber you could use while I’m away.” He was so excited he didn’t leave time for the brunette to refute. “It has a locked door only I have the key for and a secret entrance that Gaius and Gwen could use, since it’s not going to be safe here for you here with Gaius’s patients coming in and out, plus the mattress will be a lot softer.” Merlin took a moment to process the information. _A random room... no one used, just sitting in one of the towers?_ Somehow that didn’t bode well.

“Why was it sealed off?” Arthur hesitated at the question, his face falling into a grimace.

“It... was where my mother gave birth…” _and died._

“Oh Arthur-” empathy weighed heavy in his voice, but the Prince waved it away.

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you have somewhere safe to go while I’m away where my father won’t find you.”

“You are not seriously planning to keep me locked away in a tower.” _What was this, a fairy tale?_

“Only when you start to show, and only while I’m away.” Arthur insisted, beginning to sound rather desperate to convince him. “Come on, let me show you.”

He took his hand and all but dragged him to the back side of the castle, taking routes hidden from the lookouts’ eyes.

The secret entrance was hidden by overgrown ivy, a wooden door that squeaked as it opened (Arthur assured he would oil it). A long stone corridor lead to another wooden door, this one also without a lock. It opened onto a spiral staircase, which Merlin almost couldn’t make it to the top of he became so out of breath.

The last wooden door did have a lock, but it was already unlocked and the blond promptly pushed it open, leading into a stain-glass sunlit chamber.

Streams of colour shone in through the remarkably thin windows that had been placed at close enough intervals the circular room was completely lit. Evidently the room had been designed with privacy and luxury in mind.

The room was indeed fit for a queen, and surprisingly clean of dust, which Arthur explained was because he’d had Gwen changed all sheets and clean everything up for him. Still, he wasn’t certain. It all seemed a bit… morbid, the suggestion that he give birth in the room Arthur’s mothers life ended in, like some weird irony was at play, but apparently even Gaius had given the plan his seal of approval.

Eventually the blonde’s puppy like blue-eyes won over, and Merlin agreed, though with renewed determination at finding a stronger glamour so he wouldn’t need it. Plus... he had to admit the bed was really soft, and his back dreaded having to sleep in his old bed while Arthur was away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw they did not shag in the bed! He just laid in it to see if arthur was telling the truth


	6. Chapter 6

It was too soon before Uther sent his son off again, Merlin forced to watch from the tiny stain-glass windows of the tower as the few remaining knights farewelled the search party down below. It would no doubt be weeks till he saw him again.

Arthur had already spread rumour he was ill again, this time with a serious sickness that required his quarantine. As irritated as he was at the other it at least gave him time to study magic without worry for being seen, especially since the pregnancy seemed to have made his magic even more unpredictable than usual. More than once he’d gotten frustrated and accidentally broken something, thankfully none but Gaius observing his little magical outbursts thus far.

Skills he’d taken for granted suddenly seemed uncontrollable. Even levitation, once so simple, led to him accidentally crushing or throwing things across the room on multiple occasions.

It was taking a tremendous amount of focus just to make a vase float slowly in front of him at the current moment, the brunette slowly daring to will it over to the table.

The sound of a gasp from behind him had the warlock twisting around where he sat on the bed, the urn shattering loudly as it met the floor.

Gwen stood in the open secret doorway, their lunch in her hands.

_Damn Arthur for oiling the hinges!_

Her mouth was gaping, and for a moment he was terrified she would bolt if he so much as twitched. Merlin swallowed slowly, wishing desperately he knew some sort of memory wiping spell.

“You-you’re a sorcerer?” She stuttered, seeming in less disbelief than he would have expected.

“No! I mean, not exactly, please don’t tell anyone!” _Oh gods he was dead._ She was going to know everything now, and of course blame him for her father’s death. He’d be on the pyre by first light. “I-it’s not my fault...” He insisted weakly, looking at the sheets beneath him, “I was born with it.”

He kept his eyes shut tightly as the door shut softly, surprised to find as the mattress dipped that rather than leaving the handmaiden had put down the plate of food and come to sit timidly on the edge of the giant bed.

“Who else knows?” She asked seriously.

“Just Gaius, and my mother… and Lancelot.” _They were the only ones who were still alive at least._

“And Arthur?” He shook his head guilty, a thick moment of uncomfortable silence making his morning nausea return full force. “...Well, your secret’s safe with me.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, the terror melting from his bones.

“Thank you.” He could hardly believe it, what with how much trouble his magic had caused her, but then he supposed it would be best to keep all those thoughts to himself lest she change her mind.

“Did you…?” she gestured to his stomach suggestively.

“It kind of happened on its own,” he explained, “I mean not on its own on its own, of course, but I didn’t mean for it happen.” _At least not consciously,_ he thought, cheeks a little warm _._ “My magic kind of acts on it’s own sometimes.” She nodded slowly, processing the information.

A hush as pregnant as he rested awkwardly between them for a long moment, till finally Guinevere decided idle conversation might make the fidgeting brunette a little more comfortable.

“So… how did Lancelot find out?”

The confessions and tales spilled out of him like an overfilled goblet. Her sympathy and friendship was different to Gaius’s parental support, and rather refreshing. As was her laughter as he recounted tales of saving Arthur and their many misadventures together. She was so easy to talk to, and so they spent hours together conversing, the warlock telling her near everything.

∞

Uther’s throne cast a long shadow across the hall as the sun rose, the King’s eyes as harsh as cold stone.

Almost shaking from fear of the monarch’s wrath a servant hesitantly entered, bowing lowly before him.

“Y-your highness-”

“What is it?” Uther bit, the hall seeming to echo with his booming voice. The king’s scowl somehow seemed highlighted by the great purpling bags under his piercing eyes.

The servant swallowed, stuttering a reply.

“I-I believe I heard voices last night, coming from the North-East tower.” The king’s eyes thinned. “The door at the top of the stairs is still locked, I-I fear it may be… haunted.”

Uther had gone white, fingers gripping his armrests tightly.

“Guards!”

His voice thundered so loud the servant felt as if the ground beneath shook, scuttling away like a terrified rabbit.

Soldiers flooded in, Uther’s hand gripping the hilt of his sword so tight it hurt as he led them towards the tower entrance. His fear of being seen as weak before them was the only thing giving him enough strength to dare even approach the North-East wing after so many years.

His hands shook and he struggled to breath as they came before the wooden door at the tower’s base.

To an outside eye it looked rather comical, the sight of a terrified king and far too many guards crammed into such a small space, but none dared to stick around and find out what was the cause.

He ordered one of the knights to open it and it glided open without so much as a squeak, the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention.

Two guards took the lead, travelling up the steps one at a time like a line of heavily armed ants. The dust on the steps had been disturbed, likely from the servant or recent castle damage, Uther assured himself.

The door at the top had been sealed shut long ago, the key left inside when the wall, so recently fallen, had first been erected.

His voice shook as he gave the order to break it down, the door was so old and unmaintained it practically splintered under the weight of two guards ramming against it on the first try.

They spilled inside with weapons at the ready, the loud clatter crashing into the once serene space.

Within the bed a feeble, and most certainly not ghostly, figure jolted awake. Uther instantly recognised him as his son’s servant, and though relieved not to have stumbled upon his dead wife’s ghost, was ready to give the terrified boy a tongue lashing for entering a forbidden room till the sunlight glimmered on a book laying shut on the table beside him.

The serving boy’s eyes flickered to the hardback and he looked ready to grab it, but as he hesitated to move Uther beat him to it. The peasant looked terrified, holding himself tightly within the mounds of blankets surrounding him.

Uther opened the book and immediately dropped it in horror, recognising the cursed text of the old religion within.

“ _Sorcery_! Seize him!”

His guards grabbed the boy by his arms and yanked him out of bed, the sheets tumbling aside to expose his swollen stomach.

Uther’s eyes widened in horror down at the other, a mirror of the child’s own.

“The sorcerer is a vessel for witchcraft! He has been impregnated by demons to create a monster which will bring about Camelot’s end! Throw him in the dungeon with iron-chains and prepare the pyre!”

Realising this wasn’t some awful nightmare Merlin struggled against the guards, a sudden burst of force shaking the room and shattering the windows. Before he could utter a spell the back of a blade struck his skull, and the gold from his eyes faded as his vision went black.

His limp form was dragged roughly away, Uther glaring at the book and now chaotic room with disgust.

“Burn the book with him,” he turned, robes bellowing behind him, “and seal this room back up!”

∞

Having been refused access across the border into another kingdom due to a spreading illness Arthur and his men had been given no choice but to return home, the castle gates in sight by sunset.

His father would no doubt be furious and insist he should have risked his and his knights lives to find Morgana, but what with his own child on the way the blond had felt strangely… self-preserving as of late, not to mention that each moment spent away from the kingdom filled him with anxiety for Merlin’s safety. What if the idiot stepped on a rake and knocked himself out? What if he went to visit Gaius and got an actual disease? What if he decided to clean out the stables and got himself kicked?

Each thought made him even more apprehensive than the last and he had to admit, even if only to himself, that he’d feel much better once he had the fool back in his arms.

The relief that he had felt upon entering the kingdom vaporised as the sight to greet him in the courtyard, that familiar unsettled discomfort he had never been able to quite place settling in his stomach.

The pyre was being set. Evidently in his absence his father had seen fit to persecute yet another poor soul.

There had never been anything he could say or do to change his father’s opinion on magic users, Arthur himself never really having been that bothered by them. Still, he dreaded these executions, especially since they always seemed to set Merlin on edge.

“Your father demands your presence.” An older knight greeted firmly.

“I’ll be there in a moment.” Arthur assured as he dismounted, wanting to go and check in with Gaius to make sure Merlin was in good health first.

“He _demands_ your presence _immediately_.” The man insisted firmly, looking pointedly down at the younger. The blond only rolled his eyes and sighed, resigning himself to his father’s interrogation as to why he had returned so soon. He supposed he might as well get it over with, Arthur relented, passing the reigns of his stallion over.

As expected, upon entering the throne room he found his father looking extremely pissed off, however the telling he was anticipating for his failed journey never came, a heavy silence sitting between them as he stood waiting for his father to speak.

“We found your manservant in possession of a book of sorcery.” Arthur wasn’t quite sure he’d heard him right, a disbelieving scoff jumping from his throat despite the dreaded realisation that had hit him.

_The pyre was for Merlin._

“Impossible.” He insisted, hoping the panic in his voice didn’t show.

“See for yourself.” Uther gestured to the Bookkeeper, and the old man shuffled over to the Prince’s side. He passed him a bundle of cloth, lifting the material away from the top to expose the gem embedded book cover to the young royal.

Arthur’s stomach dropped. He had seen this book before, sitting on Merlin’s bedside table. Dreading what he would find inside, and already certain of what it would be, he hesitantly opened to a random page.

His throat was so tight he feared he may lose the ability to speak as he gazed down at the taboo runes.

_Oh Merlin._

“I suspect he has been consorting with demons and is impregnated with a beast. I am disappointed you did not realise sooner, though clearly he is a powerful sorcerer. He will be burned as soon as the pyre is ready.” Uther assured, his son still looking steadily down at the book, expression unchanged.

He mumbled something, and with all the quiet murmuring that had arisen among those bystanders in the hall Uther couldn’t quite hear.

“What?”

“The babe is mine.”

The room fell deathly silent at his proclamation, Arthurs eyes turning up to meet his father’s. He swallowed at the dangerous glare he met but didn’t look away.

“Whatever ploy you are trying to set it won’t work, my decision is made and he will burn.” Uther insisted, evidently not believing a word his son had said.

“… It’s not a ploy.”

The King’s glare slowly faded into a look of horror.

“Leave us.” At his command all but his son scampered out of the room, Arthur holding the book so tightly the historian didn’t even try to take it from him as he took his leave.

His father waited until the last person was gone and the doors had thudded shut, his face red with fury.

 _“You_ impregnated the sorcerer?” He hissed angrily and stood, stalking closer like a dangerous beast ready to lash out at any given moment.

“I won’t let you hurt him.” Arthur glared back with just as much fire in his eyes. Quickly his father’s expression changed from anger to horror.

“You’ve been bewitched! Do not worry, his death will release you from the spell.” He seemed to be assuring himself more than Arthur.

“There’s no spell!” The blond wasn’t actually entirely certain of that fact but it was something he’d be bringing up with Merlin later, first he had to keep the idiot alive. “He’s carrying my child and I will not let you hurt him, whether he be a sorcerer or not.”

“You’ve gone mad.” His father insisted breathily.

“It’s you who’ve gone mad! Killing anyone who so much as speaks of magic!”

“It is the tool of monsters!”

“You are the monster!”

“ _ENOUGH_!” Arthur almost flinched at the volume, “You will remain confined to your chambers or I will have you thrown in the gaol with your precious sorcerer and force you to watch as he burns.”

The blond stared back in disbelief, searching desperately for some hint of the man who had loved and raised him in those mad, cold eyes. He could find nothing but the fearful soul of a tyrant standing where his father had once stood.

“I will not let that happen.”

“I am your king and you will follow my command!” The man was spitting and flailing, face beet red.

“Then I deem you unfit to rule, and challenge you for the throne.”

Arthur removed his glove in as calmly as he could, doing his best to keep his hands steady as adrenaline began to course through him as he threw the glove at the tyrants feet. Uther made no move to take it, the situation all too familiar.

“Pick it up.” The other wore a shocked expression, but Arthur’s resolve was unwavering, “PICK. IT. UP!”

“You will regret this.” Slowly Uther stooped down and picked up the glove, both father and son drawing their swords.

“No, I won’t.”

The last thought Arthur allowed himself before their weapons clashed was that Merlin wouldn’t be able to stop him this time.

∞

The sound of the gaol door being unlocked roused Merlin from the ball he had made himself into in the corner of his cell, his red eyes peaking up from his knees.

“Gaius!” His voice broke as he spoke, the old man rushing to his side and hugging him tightly.

The iron chains preventing Merlin from using his powers jingled as they parted, the physician’s fallen face filling him with dread.

“Uther is dead.” Merlin couldn’t help feeling relieved to some degree, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“How?”

“…Arthur has returned.”

It took him a moment to realise what the other was saying, his expression turning as solemn as his guardian’s.

“Oh.”

He had tried so hard to prevent this from happening, to protect the King despite his personal opinion of him, and in the end it was his fault the man had met his end. The irony stung almost as much as the metal chaffing his wrists, ankles, and neck.

_Kilgharrah was going to have a field day when he found out._

“He has requested your presence.” Gaius began unchaining him and attending to his small wounds as the boy nodded. The old man helped him to his feet, sparing a rather shocked look at just how round his belly appeared, having only seen him with his glamour as of late, but quickly recovering.

Merlin was too weak to put up the camouflaging spell, keeping his head low to avoid meeting the wide eyes of everyone they passed. Despite the darkness it felt like a thousand daggers poised at the ready, all aimed at his stomach. He covered it with his hands protectively, Gaius seeming to notice his discomfort and wrapping his arms around the boy’s shoulders to help him hide somewhat from their gazes.

The Kingdom bell began to ring through the night, its tone slow and solemn as it signalled the fall of the king.

Merlin was guided to the smaller hall connected to the empty throne room by a door, the King’s chair being draped with a black sheer veil by solemn servants as they passed.

Arthur stood leaning over a round table with his back to them as Gaius guided him inside, the Bookkeeper the only other soul within the candle lit room. They cast an eery glow on Arthur’s hunched form.

“Leave us.”

The two old men bowed and departed, leaving him alone with the Prince who still hadn’t turned to face him. On the table sat the Kings crown, Arthur’s blood stained sword beside it. Morbid as it was neither struck him like the sight of his book, the brunette’s mouth going dry.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Arthur accused angrily, his voice a low growl. Merlin dared to feign ignorance.

“Tell you what?”

“ _You know exactly what!”_ He snapped and the blond flinched back, holding his middle protectively on instinct.

“…I was afraid you’d turn me in.” he admitted quietly, “But I swear I only use it to protect you!” The brunette defended, hating that the other still wasn’t meeting his eyes. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry.”

Arthur was still, so much so Merlin wasn’t sure if he should step closer or leave.

“All this time…” His hands were white with how tightly he was clenching his fists. “Why did you even come to Camelot in the first place?” Arthur bit, the warlock feeling both guilty and defensive at the painfully callous question.

“My magic is instinctual. It just acts on its own sometimes, so my mother sent me to Gaius. She hoped he could help me learn to control it.”

Arthurs posture loosened somewhat, his fists unclenched, but he still wouldn’t turn.

“Why did you defend him?”

‘Wh-?”

“You saved his life before even though he would have killed you without thought, why?” It took him a moment to realise Arthur was referring to Uther, the question taking him a moment to truthfully answer.

“I didn’t want to see you in pain.”

It fell silent again, and Merlin dared to carefully come closer. Hesitantly he reached out and placed his hand comfortingly on the other’s shoulder, the royal finally turning.

He had a small slice in his cheek from the battle, his eyes red from forcing back tears and face twisted up in despair. Merlin’s heart fell at the sight, his arms wrapping tightly around his friend as Arthur finally let himself weep on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol guess who’s self-quarantined :D


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw merlins preg developed a lil faster than normal because magic

Arthur’s coronation would take place at dawn, by which time the pyre would be dismantled.

His sword had been cleaned of his father’s blood and Merlin had been given a proper examination to ensure their unborn was still healthy after the day’s trauma. The two had then retired to the royal’s chambers, grateful to find Guinevere had drawn them a warm bath.

She hugged Merlin tightly and bowed to the pending king before taking her leave, the warlock making a mental note to encourage Arthur to offer Lancelot a place among the knights once the Kingdom had finished mourning.

Once enveloped in the warm water of a bath the brunette let out a blissful sigh, his lover gently nursing his semi-healed wrists (he had been too tired to completely remove the rashes). Arthur’s lips pressed to the red line on his neck gently, his servant leaning back against him.

The peak of his round stomach breached the water’s surface, the blond rather certain that it had been nowhere near as large when he had left that morning. Magic no doubt, he mused rather bitterly. He had been looking forward to watching the other grow in size, and of course teasing him mercilessly over it. 

He smiled a little at the thought and pressed soft kisses to both of the other’s palms, the areas still lightly grazed. Despite his grief and horror at his own actions his guilt was little but a throbbing annoyance at this point, comforted by the knowledge that he had done what he had to do, not only for himself, his unborn and Merlin, but for all of Camelot. Uther really had been at the end of his rope, as much as it pained him to admit. Besides, if not for Merlin the old man would have been killed several times, as both Guinevere and Gaius had informed during a brief moment of insane grief after he had killed his father and blamed Merlin for bewitching him into it.

Although he hadn’t quite forgiven the sorcerer for all the lies and secrets just yet he had decided that particular conversation could wait. After all, they had a lifetime to hold grudges against one another now. 

“You won’t have to hide anymore.” Arthur pointed out, the brunette turning his head to look at him curiously as he rested back against his shoulder. “Your magic or the pregnancy.” His face brightened but he still looked unsure, understandably so after a lifetime of hiding from the world. “Of course though it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to go around pregnant with my child,” Merlin’s face fell, the blond secretly suppressing a smile, “at least not until I announce you as my consort.”

Merlin’s eyes widened, repeating the title in disbelief.

“Your consort?” Arthur nodded, keeping his expression plain.

“I think it will help get the people used to the idea of legalising magic.” Merlin’s face broke into the biggest grin he’s ever seen, their lips crashing together as the warlock grabbed his face in a burst of passion.

Once he pulled away his smile morphed into panic.

“They’ll think I’ve enchanted you.” He pointed out.

“Maybe you have.” The blond suggested lightheartedly, though he was in fact rather curious to know if the other had. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, if I had you wouldn’t be questioning if I had.” Arthur was rather relieved at that, smiling fondly.

“Well, at least you’re not a troll.” Merlin had to bite his lip not to laugh, as such an action wold be highly inappropriate so recently after the former troll husband’s passing.

Arthur’s smile dropped as Merlin tensed up in his lap, an odd expression twisting on the warlock’s face as he suddenly cupped his baby bump.

“What? What’s wrong?” The blond tensed up worriedly, Merlin’s eyes widening as he grabbed his wrist and brought the Prince’s palm to his stomach. There was complete silence, the brunette seemingly too focused to tell him what was going on.

A long moment passed before Arthur felt the lightest sensation against his hand.

His eyes widened as Merlin grinned again.

“Is that-?!” He nodded excitedly, both the blond hands cupping his bump. They waited a good five minutes before it happened again, letting out delighted gasps and laughing giddily.

Arthur couldn’t even remember what grief felt like as he held the other, AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!


End file.
